


Espionage (es-pee-uh-nahzh)

by yorkisms



Category: Lazer Team (2015)
Genre: Fluff, LT Weekly Challenge, Multi, Relationship Development, Shenanigans, slightly more primarily shinguards, the kids ship it(tm), this file on my computer is just saved as 'gay'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 11:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8205431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorkisms/pseuds/yorkisms
Summary: Traveling through space is kind of boring. At least Zach and Woody have wi-fi, video chat, and their favorite will-they-won't-they to keep their girlfriend updated on. (Or, Mindy's dying to know if her dad's back out there, and makes her boys help her find out.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, I wrote this a while ago when I was getting ahead on lt weekly prompts. 
> 
> I could have made the prompt angsty, but honestly, shenanigans just spoke to me more. I added some relationship-building for balance- mostly because some elements of it didn't make sense without some legs- but I think it's still okay. 
> 
> Espionage   
> [es-pee- **uh** -nahzh, -nij, es-pee-uh- **nahzh** ]   
> noun  
> 1\. the act or practice of spying.

Zach and Woody are cooing over the video chat one day when Zach spots over the screen the passing forms of both Anthony Hagan and Herman Mendoza.   
He leans in to the mic. 

"Oh, right," he says, quiet yet sly. 

"Your dad just walked by which reminded me. Think he's totally banging Herman."

Mindy covers her mouth, her eyes wide with amusement. 

"O-m-g." 

She bangs one hand on her desk. 

"You had better not be kidding, Zach!"

"I'm not kidding, I swear!" he elbows Woody. "Tell her what you saw-"

"I could be wrong, but-"

"You could always be _wrong_ , tell her!" 

"I believe they were holding hands this morning."

"Bull-shit, they absolutely were, I saw it too!" 

Mindy grins. 

"Tell me more." 

Zach looks off in the direction that they left in.

"Dude. We could put you on one of these DETIA tabs and follow them."

"Zach Spencer, put me on one of those tablets and follow them _right away_."

"Alright, alright, Woody, you do it."

"Why me?"

Zach gestures with his gun. 

"Because you have two hands, genius!" 

Woody quickly routes the call through a tablet, and they both jog off. 

Eventually, they locate the older two already, in one of the hallways with large windows. Someone's put a bench there, where they're both sitting. 

"Zach," Mindy hisses. "Woody. Move the camera, I can't see." 

Zach and Woody are both taking cover on either side of the door to the section, and they both shrug at each other. 

Both Hagan and Herman are facing outwards anyway, so Woody moves the tablet until Mindy makes a noise. 

"Okay, I can see." 

Zach leans around the door, and Woody follows, still holding the tablet in position. 

"See? Look at that. Totally hand-holding-"

"Aesthetically, it's not," Woody points out. Zach snorts. 

"The hands are touching, what's the difference?" 

"I'm with Zach, that's totally gay," Mindy comments, grin evident in her tone. 

"What's your thing with this, anyway?" Zach asks. "I mean, I figured they were gay, but you totally got all of us invested in this crap." Mindy shrugs. 

"Well, like you said, they're not subtle. Besides, I used to live with my dad, remember? If anyone needs to move on romantically, it's him."

"Yeah," Zach snorts quietly, "Maybe Herman can lube up that stick and get it out of his ass."

"Gross, Zach, too far." 

"Sorry. Was it the lube?"

"Definitely."

Woody shushes them quietly as they start to pay attention to the conversation. 

"...remember how I always told you that girl was something else? I meant it as in _bad news_ , Tony."

"Okay, you got me, you got me. I don't regret it, but it happened."

"You talk to her since you left?" 

"No...no." 

Herman sighs. "You dumbass." 

"What?" 

"Just cause you're not a thing anymore doesn't mean-"

"Yeah, she's my ex, Herman, and you're-" Hagan gestures with one free hand. "-the current one."

Herman snorts loudly. Mindy giggles, and Zach leans back onto the wall with an exaggerated groan expression.

"Loser." 

"-anyway, why do you care?" 

"Cause she's the mother of a little blond clone of herself who acts just like you." 

"I never knew you liked kids."

"The fuck you know about me and kids? I got a kid. I got a stupid British son of a bitch. We got three kids in all, anyway." 

Herman snorts. 

"Love the little dumbasses. Anyway, at least try not to fuck up _your_ kid, you were doing so well."

"Believe me, I don't think she cares much for Marina either." 

Herman rolls his eyes. 

"Whatever, man. Who knows about kids." 

"So you admit that you're the same age as me and we're both relatively ol-"

"Do _not_ say it."

"You just said we have kids!" 

"That doesn't make us old, Tony!" 

Hagan sighs, almost overdramatically. 

"Whatever you say. I think this alien problem was just us signing up to parent more children."

"One more."

"You just said we have three together. We're sharing. We each gain two kids."

"Fuck you and your logic," Herman complains. Hagan shakes his head slightly.

"At least don't close the door on her. Marina, I mean. You never know." 

"Okay, fine, if Marina wants to call me she can call me." 

"There we go." There's a pause. 

" _You're_ still a pushy little shit."

"I never stopped being a pushy little shit, get yourself caught up, Tony." 

Hagan's silent a moment. 

Herman's shit eating grin permeates his tone. "You reaaally get into that, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Tonyyy." 

There's a beat of silence, then Herman bursts out laughing. 

"I knew it."

"What, nobody else says that-"

"What the hell did Marina call you? Your damn parents?" 

"Um," Hagan says, as if the answer is obvious. "Anthony. Nobody else cares about nicknames, Herman."

"Psh. I do. Besiiides, anything else sounds too formal." 

"It does _not_ , I'm more used to being called anything else by everyone anyway-"

"Nobody _else_ cares about you," Herman says. 

"I'd like to think that-"

"It's figurative!" 

"Fine, fine."

They're both silent a moment, and Herman pauses. 

"Tony, how d'you deal with kids when they're being total shits?" 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like," Herman says casually, "They think that they can listen to other peoples' _private_ conversations and not make you wanna break your fuckin' foot off in their hypothetical asses, what then?" 

"Oh shit," Zach says, retracting the tablet. 

"I'm gonna give you a twenty second head start, you little fucks!" 

"Run now," Zach says, handing Woody the tablet. 

"Go go go go-" 

\--

The trio (including the tablet) escape to Zach and Woody's shared bathroom, which fortunately has a locked door. Woody has to sit down on the toilet to catch his breath, but first he props the tablet up against the mirror. Zach leans against the door, and all three laugh- which doesn't exactly help with the fact that two of them are out of breath from running. 

"I'm happy for them," Mindy says sincerely, leaning closer to the camera. 

"I knew that something was going on there." 

"Seriously," Zach pants. 

"They're not exactly subtle!" 

This sets off another round of giggles, and wherever Mindy is calling from they can hear her bump the table slightly from laughing. 

"Tell em it was my idea," she suggests, "They can't do anything about that." 

"You got it, babe," Zach says. 

"Shit, I should rest. I love you-" 

"Love you too, babe." 

"Love you." 

She waves and hangs up. Zach and Woody's eyes meet, and they both snicker uncontrollably. 

\--

At the same time, Herman makes his way back to where he was before. 

"You took care of em?"

"Don't think they're coming back here, no." 

"Good." 

There's a moment of silence between the two of them, before Herman speaks. 

"Let me know if I push you, okay?" 

"I will, believe me." 

Herman sighs, fidgeting uncontrollably. 

"We screwed up once, I don't want it to happen again." 

"I won't let it." 

"And another thing, Tony-" 

"Yeah?" 

Herman pauses, before nonchalantly adding, "If anyone talks shit about your kid, gossips about you an' Marina, or calls you ha-"

Hagan flinches, and Herman stops in the middle of his sentence.

"--the name- again, I'm gonna take their balls as a trophy." 

Hagan seems surprised by this, but doesn't object. 

"...thank you." 

"You're not-- the name," Herman says, looking sideways at him. 

"You're the opposite." 

"I don't know what the opposite of that-- is," Hagan replies, amused and gratified, "But I'm glad that I'm it." 

"A full-" 

Herman pauses, waiting for a reaction, then stops.

"Never mind. I love you."

"I love you too, Herman."

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me about lazer team!! mttbrand-suffering on tumblr.


End file.
